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2005-04-26 5,153 share

On the value of idle thoughts

Treasure your idle thoughts because they are the only thoughts which are truly yours.

That grand realization you had that later you realized was obvious-- don't discount those. It really was a grand realization; and the one who discounted your achievement was not you, but society censuring through you.

All your feelings of abnormality, insecurity, anxiety,
your self-criticisms, your petty observations about people--
These thoughts are yours.
The other thoughts, the ones which are actually communicable to others,
the ones which are meaningful and valuable to others--
they can't belong to you.
Those thoughts come from the usual ways we talk about life in society
they are discourses which ignore who we are, heap sin unto who we are
They speak of the future as if it were as clear as yesterday, and they render all our greatest epiphanies
either obvious, or perverted, or nonsensical.
Our idle thoughts do not resonate with society
and if they do, then it's because we have trained ourselves to flow with societal logic,
we have become cultural emulators, our lives glorified doormats.
If that's the case, let's roll ourselves back to the remembrance of a time when we weren't so sure about them--
when their rules and their logic, felt quite illogical and unruly.
Back then, we knew what was best for us, but we didn't know enough to stand up for ourselves,
for our beauties and treasures, before society taught us they were abnormalities, insecurities, anxieties, perversions.
We thought, "hey, maybe society does know better". We were in awe.
We were kids.
They were carnies.
They pretended like they knew things we kids didn't.
But now, grown adults, what excuse have we? We have submitted to society's rules,
pushing our own idle thoughts into the silent margins of our mind marked for "mistakes and shortcomings".
Our science teachers from grade school trained us to ridicule Ptolemy who put earth at the center of the universe.
we used to be at the center of the universe too, but we were trained to ridicule our positions of self-love
to the point where our life and our existence barely mattered.
Well, life is too short and too rare to be anywhere except at its center
considering that life is just a hiccup between non-existence and non-existence.
When you are in old age, you will look back at the babies, and the teens, and young adults, and old adults
and realize that they are all babies
that nobody ever has time to grow up.
Huggies to Depends in the blink of a mind who makes a goulash out of yore, yesteryear, and yesterday.

In grade school we were also trained to laugh at Lamarck and his corny unscientific idea that animals can evolve within their lifetimes,
that a giraffe can grow its neck to reach the fruit on the trees. But this is a farce we are taught--
if the giraffe has a short neck, then his life is a mistake and he has no recourse.
Can we think for a second what we are being trained to believe here?
The message is clear from them-- society is everything, you are nothing;
If you can't do something, then your life is probably a mistake, you won't be able to escape your limitations this life
you should just realize your achievable place in life, and live quietly.

But nevermind all this
they're just some idle thoughts.